Forgiveness

Webster’s defines for as in order to reach. It also defines give as to offer for consideration or acceptance. The word forgive in my understanding of the word is captured quite well using the aforementioned definitions. I see the term forgiveness as something we offer one who has harmed us. We offer it to them, but it is really for the person offering forgiveness. Earlier in the week I had given thought to what I would choose to discuss during this week’s blog discussion. It was not long before I decided to discuss the thought, idea and application of what we refer to as forgiveness. My experience has been that many of us use the term but with no real true understanding, and in most cases no ability to apply the action part of the word to practice. I’ll explain. It is not uncommon for one to remove a person from their life under the notion that the one removed is forgiven. Well, I think in those cases forgiveness is not challenged. If the person is removed, how can one truly tell? Here is the answer. You test your ability to forgive by interacting in some way with the person who you were supposed to have forgiven. If there is any negative thought or feeling associated with the individual, you have not forgiven the person. I choose my words carefully to provide clarity when speaking, so I am saying those actions are not that of a person who has forgiven. It can be the actions of someone experiencing forgiveness. Forgiveness is the act or action of while to forgive or to be forgiven signifies the end of the process. That means when I forgive, I have no negative thoughts or feelings about the person. I may during the process by which I forgive have negative thoughts or feelings based on where I am in my healing and forgiving process. When one makes the declaration that he or she has forgiven someone then begins to share negativity about that individual, they have not forgiven. It isn’t necessary to call them out. It is necessary to know the difference. Knowing the difference should allow us all to take a self inventory of forgiveness and our steps necessary to bring forgiveness to forgiven.

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