Posted by The 'Gueru

5-12-23 #9

I can recall being a four year old child in what was called at the time kindergarten 4 or k4 in school. This was my first experience being away from my parents for any length of time except if with family members. I arrived and was upset that my siblings were in different room assignments since we were in different grades. There were a series of games we were encouraged to play, placing proper shapes in the correct place etc. Nervous in the beginning, I began to play with the toys. I did not know at the time that the toys and games were used in an attempt to determine intellectual ability, propensities and ability to focus. At the end of the day a note was placed on my shirt to bring to my parents. Once they read the note, my life would forever be different than that of my siblings. I had to attend a different school, wear different clothing and had a different curriculum. My rules were not the same regarding education. There was an emphasis on me studying and less on playing or doing children type things. As I think, I believe this is the reason I cook and bake, spending much time in the kitchen with my mother as she did those things. I would have to sit at the kitchen table and study. I did not understand why things were different for me at the time, but my sister provided clarity just a few days ago as we were driving to gather her daughter’s belongings from Morgan. Bernadette (my sister) and I were discussing something from our childhood while having a laugh then she said that’s right buck (she calls me buck still) you went to the smart school. I didn’t say anything, but it made me think about the relationship with my children but son specifically. My son walked very early and spoke complete sentences by the time he was one. No one knew because he would only speak to his mother and I for a good period of time. He would watch. He did not play with toys much at all. He gravitated more to the outdoors and sports. He was different. I realized immediately, so when he would have the discussion with me about wanting to be like everyone else, I could only hug him and apologize. He would have been six at the time, so I would have been twenty three. I needed him to be prepared to make decisions and stand alone with zero support. He had to understand that there would be times where he is conversing with someone and does not feel understood. I questioned my ability to prepare him at the time, but that is a discussion for another time. My son would learn soon after that conversation that he was meant for leadership. It is of extreme importance to understand who you are and the role you play. Without this information, things can be challenging managing the smallest of situations. We do not have to look far to have examples of people in leadership roles that were gifted them as opposed to earning them. I am not speaking about anything in particular. Look at any operating system from a sociological perspective and we can see examples. When we are in roles not meant for us, there is typically little success. Having the thought or idea that no one understands you or you are alone in certain situations could lend sight to the idea that you are not in the role destined for you. If you are a leader, lead because following will not work for you.